Seems like just yesterday......
It's been a year of dying to self. A year of gut wrenching suffering marked by the loneliest of lonely. A velvet blanket of sorrow coiled into hours, days and now a year of existence.
Yet woven into the anguish, HE continues to stitch sweet gifts wrapped in divine love, mercy and relentless grace.
Let me begin by explaining that this story of sanctification, is not penned by me. I am simply the vehicle in which the story is bound. If I were at the helm of this twisted tale, I certainly would not have written a story ripe with heartache and loss. My story would have been an expose on the shiny lifeless things of this world and the fleeting satisfaction they bring. No, this tragic story of love and loss has been sketched by the steady hand of our lord and saviour. And for this, I am eternally grateful.
From the ashes.......... Time after time, like salve to a gaping would, He has bathed us in reassurance and hope. All the while collecting the shattered pieces of our existence, reassembling our hearts and changing the coordinates of our lives.
If you recall, in a past post I eluded to our evolving family portrait?
"Gods plan for a beautiful union of broken and tattered souls. A melding of lives and hearts designed to complete His will with colorful illustrations of mercy, and unyielding love. Each of us, brought together in a bouquet of withering lilies, still splattered with the mud from our walks in the valley, yet stretched upward and taut, reaching desperately for the warmth of the sun provided by the heavens".
And so it is, despite it all, HE again reveals his masterful and PERFECT plan.
It's been a year of dying to self. A year of gut wrenching suffering marked by the loneliest of lonely. A velvet blanket of sorrow coiled into hours, days and now a year of existence.
Yet woven into the anguish, HE continues to stitch sweet gifts wrapped in divine love, mercy and relentless grace.
Let me begin by explaining that this story of sanctification, is not penned by me. I am simply the vehicle in which the story is bound. If I were at the helm of this twisted tale, I certainly would not have written a story ripe with heartache and loss. My story would have been an expose on the shiny lifeless things of this world and the fleeting satisfaction they bring. No, this tragic story of love and loss has been sketched by the steady hand of our lord and saviour. And for this, I am eternally grateful.
From the ashes.......... Time after time, like salve to a gaping would, He has bathed us in reassurance and hope. All the while collecting the shattered pieces of our existence, reassembling our hearts and changing the coordinates of our lives.
If you recall, in a past post I eluded to our evolving family portrait?
"Gods plan for a beautiful union of broken and tattered souls. A melding of lives and hearts designed to complete His will with colorful illustrations of mercy, and unyielding love. Each of us, brought together in a bouquet of withering lilies, still splattered with the mud from our walks in the valley, yet stretched upward and taut, reaching desperately for the warmth of the sun provided by the heavens".
And so it is, despite it all, HE again reveals his masterful and PERFECT plan.
HE has convicted my heart, cleared the path and shown us the beautiful faces of two little flowers that belong in our family portrait.Some, those deeply rooted in this world, did not have hearts that leaped for joy when I told them what God was up to. Instead, they defaulted to words of caution. Warning me to consider finances and the infancy of our grief. I appreciated their concern and even considered their advice (for a split second). But God quickly and boldly stifled the chatter and cleared the way. Reminding me that following His will is never nice and tidy. It never looks like a 401K or investment portfolio. No, His treasure is in the hearts of His children.
And so it is that another chapter begins. Not a chapter without our Dennis, but because of him. With hearts filled with cherished memories, and lessons of love taught by his beautiful spirit, OUR story continues.
In Christ,
Tracy
My Dennis, my heart aches desperately without you.
I long to see you again, to hold you again.
I am forever yours.
Til we meet again my LOVE.........
OH wow Tracy, blessings as you begin this journey! Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteTracy, I just wanted to let you know I've been thinking of your family today. I am so happy for you all in this adoption! You have amazed me this past year - your strength and yet willingness to be real with the Lord and with the general public - it's been encouraging and also challenging personally, so I thank you. Blessings on your journey!
ReplyDeleteTHIS: "Not a chapter without our Dennis, but because of him."
ReplyDeleteI've never known a love like this you describe, and yet, every time I read your story, every time, I'm left breathless and weeping. I grieve with you and yet I celebrate too. And hope. Thanks for being so transparent with us strangers.....
ReplyDeleteLove.