Today, while chatting with a friend who is also my unofficial spiritual guru, we discussed how God is so very very good. That in the hush of the day, if we listen, we will hear Him in almost every minute of the day. His faithfulness is beyond words...............

This morning, I received news that brought me to my knees. I was humbled and ashamed feeling utterly unworthy of his grace. Undeserving of the bounty of blessings He bestows.

Here's why ~

Yesterday, I woke to yet another day bathed in sorrow and although my body was rested, my spirit was unusually weary. I did not have the emotional strength to face another day of suffering armed solely with hope and promise. This day, I wanted to understand why He would let me, his daughter, to be so sad for so long. And although I knew why he took my Dennis home, my selfish woe stirred up a cauldron of anger and doubt.

So in childish spite, I decided intentionally not to pray. I began to wonder if maybe my endless suffering was just the result of my unhealthy desire to be a part of something I'm not...... SALVATION. Perhaps my yearning for heaven was like applying for membership in an exclusive club that I could NEVER gain membership. Pathetically trying to get in to a VIP room not realizing that my name is NOT on the list. I even entertained the idea that maybe there is such a thing as "Gods Elect", and that only a few pre ordained humans will enter the narrow path to heaven (Harold Camping). That perhaps all my prayers were wasted whispers, whispers that fell into nothingness. Simply that I would never to be part of the exclusive club of the "saved" and I should stop wasting energy hoping for an impossible relationship.

And then this morning, He, our relentless, faithful loving heavenly father woke undeserving lil ole me, to news of another blessing! More intentional proof that He is intricately sewing the thread of my life and that I should embrace every morsel of my sorrow. That I should take comfort in knowing that this garment is tailored made for me and that the burden of my life, IS for his glory.

My hope in sharing a glimpse of my brokenness is that as you trudge through the valleys of your life, that you remember that He can restore you, He loves you and He forgives you. He will hold you. He is always, always with you. Remember, the valley is your gift of sanctification. Hear its call and reach sternly through the haze for behind every breath, He waits.

In Jesus name!