Christian and Ellie 12/03/2010 Comfortably Numb
This means the meds are totally doing their job. I'm so disconnected from emotion that nothing seems to ruffle my feathers. I'm a bit of a robot. Even writing this post is an arduous task. I used to look forward to pouring my heart out in my online journal. It was therapeutic. But now, I just don't have anything to say. There's nothing to complain about, nothing to rejoice about. Just lingering in a welcome state of mediocrity. I'm not complaining. I much rather be in this trance than in a fetal position wrapped in anguish. This stunted state of being allows me to carry on with the mundane everyday task of existing. Just what the doctor ordered!
On a lighter note, I just finished reading "Heaven is For Real" by Todd Burpo. Actually, I read the entire book in one sitting. I was desperately seeking a glimpse into heaven. Hoping to understand a tiny bit of what and where my Dennis is. I enjoyed the book and wasn't left completely empty handed. Still reading the Bible as much as possible but looking for new read. Any suggestions? I like all things to do with spiritual growth and eternal perspectives. And as you can imagine, I am NOT interested in ROMANCE NOVELS!
btw - Lori thank you for the generous memorial donation to YM!
In Christ!
Have you read Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman? Still praying for you sister. Your button is in my prayer jar :)
ReplyDeleteHugs
I was going to say Choosing to See - as I read it I thought of you.
ReplyDeleteWendy - i went to the SCC concert at MCC a couple months back. Someone there had heard about my story and gave me a copy of MBC's book. I tried to read it but it made matters worse. You see, it talks about how she and her husband TOGETHER crawled through the journey of extreme loss. That they clinged to their parenting of their other children and to their spouse. I have no one to cling to. I have lost a COMPLETE relationship. The Chaopmans, thank the lord, are still spouses and are still parents. Being a widow, although no more difficult, is a completely different beast. I found my self jealous that they had eachother to hold. So I gave my book to a friend who lost her son to a drug overdose last year. I pray it offers her amazing healing! Thanks for the suggestion though. Got any others?
ReplyDeleteI too read "Heaven is For Real" by Todd Burpo. I loved it. I was seeking a glimpse into heaven and the fact that it is from a child's viewpoint helped me even more. I hope that it helped you in your journey as much as it helped me. Love and prayers!
ReplyDeleteSorry, I didn't even think of that :( What about Desiring God by John Piper or The Power of Prayer in a Believer's Life by Charles Spurgeon. Both awesome books.
ReplyDeleteMy dear friend Pam, who lost her husband on 9/11 recommended the book Trusting God Through Tears as well.
ReplyDelete"Widows Might" by Jan Thompson
ReplyDeleteBeen thinking about you and your family...and praying!!
I've only read an excerpt from this book, but you might be interested in it - Heaven by Randy Alcorn.
ReplyDeleteTracy,
ReplyDeleteOk, I'm going to give this a shot. Almost didn't comment because I didn't want to insult you with my lack of knowledge on the subject of being a widow. I cannot imagine what you are going through. M heart aches for you, you have been in my prayers constantly.
I googled Christian+books+widows and this is what I found:
http://www.widowschristianplace.com/p/christian-websites-for-widows.html
and
From One Widow to Another, by Miriam Neff
and
http://www.ifca.org/site/default.asp?sec_id=140001501
and
http://mywidowswalk.com/
and
http://uswithoutyou.blogspot.com/2011/02/for-my-valentine.html
I sure hope this isn't too overwhelming of a list. Praying for your comfort,
Polly