The Lord giveth......
and the Lord taketh away......
And from this, lessons scream from both loss and gain. I suggested some time ago in a post, that God sometimes needed to use the Big Purple Crayon for me to understand His will. Well, He's used it A LOT these days and for this I am ashamed. Cleansed of all the haze, stripped and left cold, lonely and humbled. Left to SEE. I look to Him every minute of every day. Drenched in tears as I weep for mercy and understanding.
MY LIFE IS NOT MY OWN!
I want none of it. I yearn desperately to be nothing more than His hands and feet. A helpless soul with a unworthy shattered heart set for repair by the hands of our saviour.
I submit on bended knee......
LET IT BE!
LET IT BE!
LET IT BE!
Beautiful, beautiful words pour out of that broken heart of yours. Your transparency with your readers is amazing. Praying for comfort.
ReplyDeleteI pray that whatever path God chooses for you, that would lead to a life filled with joy and peace.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog through a mutual acquaintance in the Ethiopian adoption circle. My husband has been in the USAF for over 19 years and will retire next summer and we have been married just over 20 years, so I feel like we have a lot in common. My heart breaks for your reality right now, it is my worst fear. How could I go on without him? I know that my imagination does not come close to the reality of what you are living every day... and even though I am a "stranger", God places you on my heart often... and I pray.
ReplyDeleteI too, found you through an adoption acquaintance. Our little Miss turned 1 the beginning of November and I too see that father/daughter bond and love that I'm fine to play second fiddle too. My heart aches for you, for Ellie, for your boys...truly aches...and I too continue to pray for you, a fellow adoptive mom who wants nothing more than to to be a 'good and faithful' servant of our Lord.
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