Here it is again, another Friday.....

Another long emotionally arduous weekend....

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that another week has come and gone. Its just the trudging through the Saturday and Sunday that puts that pit in my gut and that incessant lump in my throat. Even though every minute of every day is agony, for obvious reasons, the weekends, (aka family time), are especially unbearable. So I'll hold on tight, bury myself in scripture, wrestle with Mr. Heartache and weather yet another storm. This, I'm told, is part of the "process". What I'm going through is "text book" and all will inevitably be good again. Good? I seriously doubt it. A huge portion of my good is gone. Now, my station in life is to raise the beautiful children I have been left. And with that responsibility, I'm committed to do the best I can to honor their fathers in heaven.

So anyway, I know I sound like a broken record. A record playing Winnie the Poohs "The Best of Eeyore"! Sorry about that. This emotional roller coaster ride makes me sick to my stomach too. If I could get off, I WOULD!

So to some detriment, I have committed to journal as much as possible for the first year after my Dennis' passing. As a result, sometimes the words just don't come or if they do, they coagulate into incomplete and inconsistent thoughts construing only a puzzling mess. A canvas with paint splatters strewn about with NO rhyme or reason (or talent). Again, I apologize.

Grief is a wicked game, a game in which no one wins

Lord hear my cry!